For kids who are technically still minors and are therefore your legal and moral responsibility, where do you set the limits with privacy?

Kids want to be able to do what they want, when they want, and not have it be questioned.

As parents, though, we want to be sure our kids aren't getting into something that's going to cause lots of trouble - drugs, sexual activity, self-destructive behavior, etc.

My personal opinion on the matter is that teens have as much privacy as they've earned. Obviously, I won't barge in on them when the door's shut... but if I have reason to suspect that something's up, I do not see a problem with checking through their things. It's my house, and the kids aren't adults responsible for themselves yet.

I also extend opportunities for my teens to earn my trust. We start out small: go out with your friends, call me when you get where you're going, call me on your way back, and be home on time. If everything works out and there isn't more to the story uncovered later, then they've earned a bit more trust. I'll be willing to extend more trust for a bigger venture and less prying.

But when I discover a breach of trust, then the security level goes up and investigation gets deeper (hand over the cell phone, let me see what you've been texting; review of computer account and emails; etc.) until the next trust opportunity is faithfully observed.

What are your opinions on this?

Y,know, when I was a teenager, I didn't have a cellphone to call from wherever I was.  My mother, however, had these rules:

1. She had to know who I was with and what their phone number was.
2. She had to know what we were doing.

Other than that, I had a lot of freedom.  I turned out okay, though.  No major screw ups yet.

I couldn't have summed it up more succinctly than that.

I take the approach of granted trust freely, then if it is abused there are consequences.  My daughter just lost her cell phone privileges altogether for a lack of respect (moreso than a breach of trust), but the example is similar.

I give my kids trust, then it's up to them to keep it.  If they lose it, then they have to earn it back.

I also believe that trusting children are important thing... My mom always trusted me with the things i want to do but that didnt hinder me to be close to my parents and to show them that i value the trust that they gave me.