Many married men view pornography.  Many married women are offended by their husband's use of pornography.  As a man, where do you stand on this issue?  As a woman, why is it so hurtful?

I hosted a series on Discovering Dad called What Dads Really Think, and one of the topics was "about Porn" http://discoveringdad.net/what-dads-really-think-about-porn/  In this post, 5 dads, including me, explain their position on porn. Personally, it doesn't do much for me and I don't see the need for it in my marriage/life.  Neither does my wife, although both of us have watched with intrigue various documentary shows like HBO Real Sex or whatever. 

The thing I don't like about porn is that most people don't know when to quit with it, much the same as drugs or alcohol or anything else that is addictive.  Personally, when I look at the potential benefits versus the potential harm it could do to a person or relationship, I don't see the point, but that's just me.  Others may come to a different conclusion, and that's fine with me.  I don't think it's my position to judge, but when it comes to leading by example, at this point in my life, I will choose to abstain from it.

You know, I've started to reply to this several times but really haven't found a way to word it without being pointelessly vague like "what my wife and I watch is nobody's business" or being way too wordy.

Suffice it to say, my wife and I don't mind porn, because we know it won't be used as a replacement for each other and, basically, we trust each other enough to be responsible with the subject matter.

For me, pornography has no place whatsoever. I had a problem with it before and found it to be deadening to my spirit, and it was a struggle to break free.

My eyes are for my wife alone, and that is the way I like it. She drives me wild and brings me pleasure miles beyond what pornography could ever reach.

I personally don't see how anyone could not be dulled by its warped, unreal presentation of sexuality.

I definitely think that it can dull the senses - good point Tom.

I recently found out that my husband has been habitually viewing and masturbating to porn since before we met, over 25 years ago.  Knowing that now certainly helps me to understand why our marriage is in the distress we are in. 

First, he completely kept this from me and I didn't discover his use of porn until we'd been married 15 years and we owned our first home computer.  We have sons, and they were quite young at the time.  A virus was on the computer that brought up porn sites every time we tried to use the Internet.  It was very fortunate that I was able to figure out how to scour it out before the boys got online, but it was very disturbing to me to find it.

Second, he has lied about porn use even after I discovered it, or he vehemently defends his use of it when I have caught him in another lie.  It's the lies that are so disturbing now.  He has always wanted me to respect him and regard him as a man of high moral character, and has always talked about how I needed to watch my behavior so that our family name wouldn't be tarnished in any way.  And yet, he's the one who is making these choices.

Third, I agree with what was said in the article about how a man's choice of porn use is due to other more serious reasons that need to be addressed.  My husband will not talk about sex with me, other than to tell me that he's not getting enough and that I'll never be able to satisfy him.  He says he has a very high sex drive, which I have come to believe was seriously influenced by his porn use. He has had affairs from which he couldn't break himself, to the point of threatening his career, and he refuses to view them as choices detrimental to his life.  He's wrapped his brain in a fog of fantasy regarding women.  He objectifies women and has little true respect for them.  And since I don't even come close to looking or behaving like a prostitute, the only value I hold now is as the one who keeps the household running and the family together.

This is how porn has affected my life.  I am neither prudish nor frigid, and not religious, intent on forcing my values upon others.  But in my home, porn is killing my family.

Women should understand that men are visual being... Its not that they are no longer attracted to you but i think that i rather see my husband masturbating over porn than finding out he's doin it with another woman... in our own home... in our own bed... That will surely make me go crazy...

i agree with you blazinrachel. it's better to see them doing it all alone rather than seeing them with another woman in bed. so BAD.

In my opinion seeing pornographic videos or image is not bad at all as long as it is in moderation. it is way better than infidelity,

Porn addiction is BAD.
Porn for stimulation is Great!

Boys are normally visual as we all know. If it will add more spices and intimacy to the relationship for me its OK.

My wife and I both watch porn from time to time. It's been very stimulation for our sex life. No problem here..